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You can turn green with envy or green with seasickness. But being green is never a good thing... Unless you are a plant.  ...but not intelligent. It condescendingly thinks coffee fixes everything: Car swerving all over the road. Screen blinks with a coffee cup: "Is it time for a break?" "NO! I'm just trying to get my coffee that I spilled on the ground, and keep the cup from getting wedged under the gas petal!" But -- thank God -- it's never said anything back to my rants...yet.  ...but not intelligent and thinks I need constant help and supervision. My car doesn't think I can: A. Tell when a car is passing me. B. Get out of the car without hit the car door on something. C. Adjust my speed manually to avoid collisions. D. All of the above. (Answer: D.) My car thinks I need help to what? A. Decide when I am tired. B. Determine what the speed limit is. C. Remember to take my keys. D. All of the above. (Answer: D...and to be fair, C may be accurate.) My Car Thinks I'm Am Accident Prone My car doesn't think I can: A. Stay in between the lines. B. Get out of the car without hit the car door on something. C. Adjust my speed manually to avoid collisions. D. All of the above. (Answer: D.) My Car Thinks I Need Help My car thinks I need help to what? A. Decide when I am tired. B. Determine what the speed limit is. C. Remember to take my keys. D. All of the above. (Answer: D...and to be fair, C may be accurate.)  ...but not intelligent. My car can't understand that it would be safer to hit a piece of debris in the road than the 18-wheeler in the other lane. It would rather hit a concrete barrier than cross the scary white line (but rumble strips don't faze it). Oh, and orange traffic barrels apparently aren't in my car's programming. It wants to run them over to stay between the magic lines even if the magic lines disappear over the edge of an incomplete bridge.  |
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February 2025
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