You Know You Live in the Desert When...

1. You think a whole day without sun is depressing.
2. The apple you accidentally left in the back seat of your car dried out and was completely edible three months later.
3. You laugh at the tourists who freak out about the coyotes in the parking lot.
4. You wake up to rain hitting your window only to look outside and realize your home is really being pelted by sand.
5. You totally know how to pick and prepare prickly pear fruit without getting any of the fine spines in the meat and any of large spines in your hands.
6. You use 4 (or more) moisturizers every night.
7. You know that gila monsters are poisonous but it is a slow poison, so just don't let them suck on you.
8. You start feeling claustrophobic if you can't see at least 10 miles in every direction.
9. You consider it common knowledge that a scorpion sting (with a few extreme exceptions) is like a bee sting.  Besides, if you would just shake out your shoes to begin with, no worries.
10. And you know that regardless of the myths, barrel cacti do not have water in them you can drink. So if you want to avoid dying of exposure, just bring enough water in the first place.