The Pessimist's Airport ABCs...with Input from the One Incurable Optimist

L -- is for long lines. Period.
M -- is for mind-numbing boredom. At least they have taken down most of the TVs that used to play the same thing on a 15-20 minute loop says the optimist. True -- that was enough to make you loopy!
N -- is for never again. This is what I tell myself ever time I escape an airport alive.
O -- is for oxygen. I think it should tell us something when a conveyance is required to bring oxygen with it...
P -- is for prayer. Airports provide plenty of time for prayer. Amen.
Q -- is for quest. That's what it is to find the water fountain (or a sandwich that won't leave you homeless for the first night of your vacation).