The Pessimist's Airport ABCs...with Input from the One Incurable Optimist

W -- is for (what else?) wait. Wait in this line. Wait to walk through this gray box thingy. Wait at your gate. Wait in another line. Wait to get into your seat. Wait to get where you are going. Wait to get off the plane. And that's if you're lucky -- sometimes there is waiting on the tarmac. Waiting for crew. Waiting for a piece of luggage they think may have a bomb to be removed...oh yeah, I've done that.
X -- is for xtreme measures. Like patting down my hair to makes sure I don't have...some dangerous do-dad in my bun.
Y -- is for yelling. And this I am optimistic about, it always makes my heart glad when someone else breaks down and yells, "California sucks!" before I have a chance to.
Z -- is for getting some zzzz's. If you are a person who can sleep in an airport, I salute you!