Life Lessons from the Emergency Room (Season 1)

1. If your saw comes with a guard, use it religiously unless you aren't really that attached to your fingers.
2. Nail guns should be treated like firearms -- only point them at things you are willing to destroy (i.e. not fingers, toes, or other body parts).
3. Avoid punching inanimate objects: the wall, your car, and that cinder block are all going to win.  And if you haven't learned this by the third time around, I recommend you bubble wrap your hands.
4. If you do punch animate objects -- go for something soft, not the teeth.  It's not like the movies where teeth just fall out -- they fracture and cut, so even when teeth lose -- they win.
5. When pitting avocados, do not stab the pit to remove it -- either scoop it out with a spoon or cut the avocado into slices and pop the pit out that way.

Oh, and if the "receipt spike" (that tall metal spike that the cashier stores receipts on) falls while you are at work do not catch it by pinning it against the counter -- just let it fall.  Feel free to apply this tip to knives, hatchets, axes and other sharp implements.

I considered adding pictures but decided against it for everyone does not work in the ED :0)