 If you want to go somewhere exotic...
or to Seattle -- fly Alaska airlines. But if you need milk in your tea and jam with your biscuits -- fly Delta. Why do we describe souls as black? Why would souls even have a color? I would think they would be hard to see.  Feeling blue is depressing. But being peachy is good. Turquoise is valuable. But sea foam is worthless and they are nearly the same color! Who decided that?   You can see red and be yellow. But being orange doesn’t mean anything – except maybe that you’ve been drinking too much carrot juice. You can turn green with envy or green with seasickness. But being green is never a good thing... Unless you are a plant.  ...but not intelligent. It condescendingly thinks coffee fixes everything: Car swerving all over the road. Screen blinks with a coffee cup: "Is it time for a break?" "NO! I'm just trying to get my coffee that I spilled on the ground, and keep the cup from getting wedged under the gas petal!" But -- thank God -- it's never said anything back to my rants...yet.  ...but not intelligent and thinks I need constant help and supervision. My car doesn't think I can: A. Tell when a car is passing me. B. Get out of the car without hit the car door on something. C. Adjust my speed manually to avoid collisions. D. All of the above. (Answer: D.) My car thinks I need help to what? A. Decide when I am tired. B. Determine what the speed limit is. C. Remember to take my keys. D. All of the above. (Answer: D...and to be fair, C may be accurate.) My Car Thinks I'm Am Accident Prone My car doesn't think I can: A. Stay in between the lines. B. Get out of the car without hit the car door on something. C. Adjust my speed manually to avoid collisions. D. All of the above. (Answer: D.) My Car Thinks I Need Help My car thinks I need help to what? A. Decide when I am tired. B. Determine what the speed limit is. C. Remember to take my keys. D. All of the above. (Answer: D...and to be fair, C may be accurate.)  ...but not intelligent. My car can't understand that it would be safer to hit a piece of debris in the road than the 18-wheeler in the other lane. It would rather hit a concrete barrier than cross the scary white line (but rumble strips don't faze it). Oh, and orange traffic barrels apparently aren't in my car's programming. It wants to run them over to stay between the magic lines even if the magic lines disappear over the edge of an incomplete bridge.  As continued from last week...
4. Patients who bring a book. We thank all of our patient patients who know that everything takes time and don't yell at us because the labs are slow or the x-rays aren't read. We really can't make these come back any faster. 5. All those who thank us and let us know that we helped them. It helps us keep going when we've been vomited on, spit on, and hit on all by the same patient. The ED Thanks You! The Emergency Department (ED) would like to thank the following groups of patients and caregivers for their contributions to the ED:
1. Patients and caregivers who bring lists. We know it's difficult to remember all 13 of your medications. Thank you for bringing a list! 2. Considerate patients. When you hear CODE BLUE overhead, you are the patients who ask us if we need to go. We are so grateful that you are willing to put other patients ahead of yourself. 3. Those who understand allergies. You are the ones who will clarify that you are not allergic to NSAIDs, but have kidney disease and aren't supposed to take them. Thank you! This way if you are having a heart attack, I know I can give you an aspirin which may really help your heart. |
AuthorSame author with some fun, quirky thoughts to make you smile! Archives
October 2023
Categories |
RSS Feed