Help! Today I feel like a Mouse

I returned and saw under the sun that – the race is not to the swift, not the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to men of understanding, nor favor to men of skill but time and chance happen to them all. – Ecclesiastes 9:11
            Being fast won’t win you the race – you have to be the first one to cross the finish line.  Being strong won’t win you the battle – you have to defeat your enemy.  Wisdom will not ensure you eat well.  Understanding will not give you money.  Skill will not give you favor.  The winner is not always fast, the victor not always strong, or the fat always wise.   
            But this is true: God wins you the race, the battle, blesses with food, with money, and He gives His favor and man’s favor.
            I tend to work BACKWARD.  Seeking speed to race well.  Building strength to win the battle.  Seeking wisdom for security and understanding for riches.  I pursue the skill to the exclusion of the GOD of that SKILL.  And I KNOW this yet I still wonder why I am not fast enough, not strong enough, not wise or understanding or skillful enough -- even though I have done everything I can.
            Why do I persist in accumulating man’s SKILLS if I KNOW God is the key to victory?  I.  Am.  Afraid.   Afraid of the COST.  Afraid of losing CONTROL -- for me this is the biggest one because I translate ability and skill into control.  Afraid of the UNKNOWN. 
So, Father, teach me to understand the cost.  Help me trust the God of the universe more than I trust me.  Lord, You are the only Paradigm but Savior let me live as an example of faith.  So that I may one day tell my children all You have done for me and with me.   Help me teach them the cost of seeking the world's trinket's in Your place. And help me display the blessedness of trusting You and blessings of seeking You and Your ways first.