We are searching for a Grammatical Zoologist to address several issues that have come up in our company about incorrect usage of animals in conversation. For example:
"Sweating like a pig."
"Blind as a bat."
"Drinking like a fish."
It is our understanding that:
Pigs don't sweat. Bats aren't blind. And fish don't drink. The person selected for this position we believe would be the goose that laid the golden egg.
Oh, wait, is that not accurate either?!
"We got a new dumpster."
My mom and I were coming home from a walk.
"Your dad doesn't want trash put it in."
Now I know it's is shiny and black, but that is the point of a dumpster :0)
“I think my beard protected my chin.” I had a patient who had a saw bounce back and hit him in the jaw.
Now, hair does protect your face. However... I really think it was God that kept that demolition saw from mangling your face.
Ignoring this pugilistic advice can result in...
Same author with some fun, quirky thoughts to make you smile!