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Water balloon volleyball is here! All you need is a net, sheets, and a steady supply of water balloons. It is played just like regular volleyball only the teams on either side of the net catch the water balloon in sheets to return it. Each team can either be given a single sheet or every two people can have a sheet, towel or pillow case. Great for parties, barbecues, and picnics.
1. If your saw comes with a guard, use it religiously unless you aren't really that attached to your fingers.
2. Nail guns should be treated like firearms -- only point them at things you are willing to destroy (i.e. not fingers, toes, or other body parts). 3. Avoid punching inanimate objects: the wall, your car, and that cinder block are all going to win. And if you haven't learned this by the third time around, I recommend you bubble wrap your hands. 4. If you do punch animate objects -- go for something soft, not the teeth. It's not like the movies where teeth just fall out -- they fracture and cut, so even when teeth lose -- they win. 5. When pitting avocados, do not stab the pit to remove it -- either scoop it out with a spoon or cut the avocado into slices and pop the pit out that way. Oh, and if the "receipt spike" (that tall metal spike that the cashier stores receipts on) falls while you are at work do not catch it by pinning it against the counter -- just let it fall. Feel free to apply this tip to knives, hatchets, axes and other sharp implements. I considered adding pictures but decided against it for everyone does not work in the ED :0)
1. You think a whole day without sun is depressing. 2. The apple you accidentally left in the back seat of your car dried out and was completely edible three months later. 3. You laugh at the tourists who freak out about the coyotes in the parking lot. 4. You wake up to rain hitting your window only to look outside and realize your home is really being pelted by sand. 5. You totally know how to pick and prepare prickly pear fruit without getting any of the fine spines in the meat and any of large spines in your hands. 6. You use 4 (or more) moisturizers every night. 7. You know that gila monsters are poisonous but it is a slow poison, so just don't let them suck on you. 8. You start feeling claustrophobic if you can't see at least 10 miles in every direction. 9. You consider it common knowledge that a scorpion sting (with a few extreme exceptions) is like a bee sting. Besides, if you would just shake out your shoes to begin with, no worries. 10. And you know that regardless of the myths, barrel cacti do not have water in them you can drink. So if you want to avoid dying of exposure, just bring enough water in the first place.  In honor of my sister who is getting married this upcoming week, I present:
Top Nine Trials of Having a Large Engagement Ring (and One Perk!) 1. Stabbing yourself in the forehead while styling your hair. 2. Getting your hand stuck in your fiancé's clothes while attempting a hug. 3. Impaling delicate clothing while dressing for a black tie event. 4. Tearing your nylons on the way to said black tie event. 5. Getting your hand tangled in your dog’s fur. 6. Having to do wrist exercises to avoid carpal tunnel due to the extra weight. 7. Attracting the attention of would be thieves. 8. Getting it stuck in the braces of the man you punched out for trying to steal your ring. 9. Stabbing your fiancé while trying to hold his hand. 10. As with every engagement ring, having a constant reminder of how much he loves me! |
AuthorSame author with some fun, quirky thoughts to make you smile! Archives
May 2021
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